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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556120">Supressed Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKH_72/pseuds/MKH_72'>MKH_72</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series, From dusk till dawn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Nightmares, Older Man/Younger Woman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKH_72/pseuds/MKH_72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth feels guilty, he knows that everything that happened to her is his fault, but why can't he stay away from her?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kate Fuller &amp; Seth Gecko, Kate Fuller/Seth Gecko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Supressed Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seth stared at the girl, she was crying out in agony. It was tearing his heart apart to see her like this. His whole body was tense, itching to stop this madness right now, to save her from the pain.<br/>
“Seth, please… stop.” She was finally herself again. He ran to her and held her in his arms. She was barely conscious. He lifted her head, cupping her face with his rough hands.<br/>
“Why did you do this to me?” Her voice was so full of pain and disappointment.<br/>
“I’m sorry.” He brushed away the blood streaming down her cheek.<br/>
“I don’t forgive you.” The words stabbed.<br/>
I don’t forgive you. It echoed in his ears, louder and louder. His vision started to blur. Right. He was not worthy of being forgiven. It was only natural. He was the one who caused all of this.<br/>
I don’t forgive you. His life began to flash before his eyes, all of the bad things he has ever done came rushing over him.<br/>
I don’t forgive you. The sad smile she gave him before entering the gate.<br/>
I don’t forgive you.<br/>
“…-th!” He heard some noise in the distance. “Seth!” The voice became audible. “Seth! Wake up!” Seth finally opened his eyes.<br/>
“Kate! Where’s Kate?!” He tried to spring to his legs, but someone’s hand stopped him.<br/>
“Kate’s fine. She’s sleeping in her room.”<br/>
Seth blinked, trying to understand what was happening. He was sitting on his bed and Richie was kneeling beside him.<br/>
“You okay?” Richie asked, obviously concerned about his older brother.<br/>
“Yeah.” Responded Seth, his voice hoarse. “Just a freaking nightmare.” He sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He fought the urge to check up on Kate, to see that she is alright with his own eyes. He knew he was the last person who should worry about her. After all, he was the cause of her life going sideways.<br/>
“Seth, you have to forget about what happened and start to live again.” Richie was honestly worried about him. “It’s been three months. Everything has been fine until now, try to enjoy it a little.”<br/>
Seth nodded, Richie gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and left his room.<br/>
“Three freaking months.” Said Seth to himself. Three months since they defeated Amara and got themselves out of the Culebra world, far away from all the bloodsuckers and supernatural. Three months and everything seemed so normal, and yet it scared him. He looked at his phone to check the time. It was only something after three in the morning. Shit. It’s going to be a long night.</p>
<p>* * *</p>
<p>“Morning.” Kate mumbled upon entering the dining room.<br/>
“Hey there.” Responded Richie. He was sitting comfortably behind the table, sipping coffee from his mug and reading American newspapers.<br/>
“Something about our last job?” Asked Kate, preparing her own mug of the hot drink.<br/>
“They are following the lead in Texas. Don’t worry, they will never realize we crossed the border.” Richie smirked. Kate knew he was right, and even if they did find out, no one in Mexico would dare to arrest them.<br/>
“What will we do next?” Kate was curious and a bit excited. The adrenalin helped her cope with all that happened ever since she left Bethel. Richie sat down for his coffee to answer her question, but before he could open his mouth, Seth walked in.<br/>
“The money from the last job will last for a while, so there’s no need for any action any time soon.” For some reason, he sounded agitated. That was weird. Kate looked at Richie, he seemed as confused as her. They both knew Seth loved the thrill, the planning and the whole rush coming hand in hand with the jobs. He was usually the first one to come up with something.<br/>
“You okay?” Richie asked after a moment of silence. Seth was staring at Kate. Her eyes locked with his for a moment, he did not know what she saw, but she looked away immediately. She put sugar and milk in her coffee and sat at the table.<br/>
“Yeah, just a bit sleep-deprived.” Seth finally answered and began to make his coffee as well. Kate and Richie started to discuss some article in the newspaper to fill in the awkward silence. After a minute or two they got so immersed in the discussion, that they did not notice that Seth was standing there silently, with a coffee in his hand and a troubled look on his face. He couldn’t decide where to sit. He had two choices, to sit beside Richie across Kate, or the other way around. Both of the options were dangerous for him, he did not want to be close to her nor he wanted to stare at her. He stood there for a good three minutes before he finally sat beside his brother.<br/>
“I’m telling you the remake sucks, you have to see the original.” Said Richie, his eyes sparkling.<br/>
“Maybe if we can find it on the TV, we can watch it.” Kate laughed a bit. It was the first time Seth heard her do that ever since he left her by the road. He almost forgot how innocent the sound was. It sounded like chimes in the wind. It made him a bit jealous that it was Richie who caused her light mood. Kate glanced at him and shifted under the weight of his stare. He looked away, he did not want to make her uncomfortable. It created another awkward silence. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“What is going on?” Richie barged into Seth’s room.<br/>
“So, knocking is not a thing anymore?” Retorted Seth clearly annoyed about the sudden breach of his privacy.<br/>
“I’m not blind, you know. I can see the look on your face any time you are near her.” The statement sounded more like an accusation.<br/>
Seth clenched his jaw. “Don’t know the fuck you’re talking about.” He growled.<br/>
“Don’t play fucking dumb.” Richie crossed his arms on his chest. “I was gonna let it go, but ever since those nightmares started, you look like a freaking zombie.”<br/>
“Still looking better than you.” Seth shrugged his shoulders, trying to stop the conversation there.<br/>
“Look,” Richie started, completely ignoring his remark. “I know you blame yourself for all the shit that happened to her, God knows I blame myself, but there’s something else. It’s like you are afraid to leave her out of your sight and at the same time you are afraid to be near her.”<br/>
Seth clenched his fists, his mouth a straight line.<br/>
“Oh.” Richie let out a surprised sound. “Man, you are seriously fucked.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Kate just finished talking to Scott over the phone. She was glad that he seemed alright. He already found his place in the world. It was time for her to find one for herself as well. When they stopped Amara, it came naturally to her that she should go with the Gecko brothers. It was how it all started anyway. But now she was not so sure. They got on with Richie quite well, given their history, but she was more worried about Seth. He was different than when they were together before. He seemed to be avoiding her, even though it was quite hard, as that lived in the same house.<br/>
A weird noise disturbed her thoughts. Richie was out of town, helping Kisa with hunting down a human trafficking organization. It was just her and Seth in the house now, even though she did not really see much of him ever since Richie left. She heard the noise again, it sounded like a scream. She grabbed the gun in her nightstand and rushed out of the room. The noise was coming from Seth’s room. She was carefully tip-toeing to his door, expecting some danger, but when she barged in, there was only Seth. He was tossing and turning on his bed.<br/>
“Kate!” he screamed and then mumbled something inaudible. She kneeled next to him, putting her gun away.<br/>
“Seth?” She gently shook his shoulder. He woke up the instant and grabbed her by the wrist. “Ouch, it hurts.” She tried to free herself from his grip. She wanted to punch him for causing her pain, but his look stopped her. Even in the dark, she was able to see the desperation in his eyes. He was breathing fast.<br/>
“Seth, please stop, you are hurting me.” She said softly, gently touching his face with her free hand. Upon the feeling of her warmth, he finally snapped out of his nightmare and let go of her hand.<br/>
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated.<br/>
“It’s okay.” She stroked his hair like her mother used to do for her when she was scared. “It was just a dream.”<br/>
He locked eyes with her and then pulled her down to his chest. He hugged her so tightly, he almost crushed her bones. “Just for a bit.” He breathed into her hair, inhaling the scent of her once again auburn hair. Kate did not struggle to get away from him. Even though the position was uncomfortable, the closeness was comforting. Seth’s breathing began to slow down and his hold loosened. He laid back on his bed. Kate tried to get up but he stopped her by catching her wrist again. This time, he held her gently.<br/>
“Don’t go.” He pleaded. “Don’t leave where I can’t protect you.” Kate stood there frozen. She knew Seth for a while now, but she had never seen him like this. He never even flinched when he was facing sure death, running into any danger, but he was different now. His dark eyes looked so wide in the moonlit room. She gave him a small nod and he moved on the bed to make her a room. She quietly laid down next to him, waiting for what would happen. The bed was big enough for one person to lie in comfortably, but it did not leave much space for two people. She could feel his warmth. Their arms were so close that it gave her a tingling sensation. She was close to him before, she even caught herself fantasizing about them laying like this but that was before everything went sideways. She shook her head a bit, she was not going to think about that. She already came to terms with everything that happened. She decided to trust in her God. She decided to believe that all of this was supposed to happen, because it led them to save the lives of many, even if it caused them to lose the lives of others, including hers. Because if she did not have faith in her God, she would have to hate him and she was not prepared to lose another important person for something she was not capable of in the first place.<br/>
Seth moved a little closer to her. It caused her heart to skip a beat. Did he do it on purpose or was he asleep again? She laid there frozen, not moving an inch, just waiting for what would happen. Seth’s fingers brushed against hers as if he was checking if she was still there. Shivers went down Kate’s spine, without realizing she held her breath.<br/>
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Seth moved a bit further away. She did not say a thing, just reached out to his hand, locking their fingers together. Seth let out a sigh. Richie’s words ran through his mind. He was fucked indeed.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Kate came to the kitchen, still wearing her shorts and a tank top, which she used as pyjamas.<br/>
“Good morning.” She mumbled, still half asleep.<br/>
“Mornin’.” Answered Seth, not looking at her to prevent himself from eyeing her. She headed off right to the kitchen table and sat on the chair across Seth. He gave her a mug of a coffee that he prepared for her, he thought of making her a new one as this was beginning to cool down, but she came before he could.<br/>
“Oh, thanks.” Her face lit, she really did love coffee, she started to drink it when they first got here. He couldn’t help but steal a few glances at her across the newspaper he was reading. She was smiling at him. Did she realize how tempting that looked? Or was it just his fucked up mind that would think something like this? Probably the second. He tried to focus on the newspaper again but wasn’t very successful.<br/>
“Are you looking for another job for us?” She asked when she finished her coffee.<br/>
“I already told you, we don’t need it,” Seth answered more harshly than he intended.<br/>
“Is it about what you told me yesterday?” Seth pretended he didn’t hear her. “Seth, you know you can’t protect me forever. I’m not the little church girl anymore.” She tried to sound confident. Seth put down the newspaper.<br/>
“You are to me.” He said, his eyes suddenly looking as desperate as the night before. Kate couldn’t bear his gaze anymore but was saved by a ringing of the doorbell. She went to open, but Seth immediately sprang to his feet and surpassed her.<br/>
“It’s just the mailman, he comes at this time every day.” Kate sighed when she saw that Seth pulled out his gun. Seth looked out the window to check if that was true and then hid the gun behind his belt. Kate opened the door wide so that Seth could safely see what was happening. The guy that stood before the door was young, maybe just a few years older than Kate. They exchanged greetings and he gave her the mail he was holding, probably bills for the house. Seth noticed how the mailman eyed Kate and unconsciously took a step closer to her, resting his palm on her shoulder.<br/>
“Anything else?” Seth growled at the man.<br/>
“N-no.” The poor guy stuttered, obviously frightened. Seth pulled Kate indoors and slammed the door.<br/>
Kate was looking at the closed door with her mouth open. “Care to explain?!” She turned to him, anger gleaming from her eyes. Seth didn’t say a word and just went straight to his room, leaving her standing in the hallway.  How would he even explain? That he was jealous because she was smiling at him so brightly? That he couldn’t bear how the guy looked at her? When he saw the guy, he realized what the feeling was. He was not overprotective, he was being possessive. He finally had to face the truth, this was no longer about protecting Kate, he wanted her for himself. Fuck.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Kate was trying to fall asleep, but she had no luck. She didn’t see Seth for the rest of the day. He avoided her and she didn’t seek his presence as well. She was confused. Not only about his behaviour, but about her own feelings as well. When he pulled her away from the boy, she felt like her heart would burst out of her body. It was the same as before when he shielded her from everything they encountered. She always thought that this feeling was caused by the adrenalin, but they were not facing any danger today and yet her heart was racing like crazy. And why did he even do that? The boy was clearly harmless and yet he felt like he had to get her away from him. Could he have been jealous? But he still saw her as a little girl, he said it himself, but then again, why? Kate sighed, why was he so confusing?<br/>
A sound disturbed her thoughts, it was the same sound as yesterday. She sprang to her feet and ran to him quickly.<br/>
“Seth?” She whispered when she entered his room. He was tossing on the bed again, fists clenched. She kneeled at the side of his bed. She was afraid he would unintentionally hit her if she tried to touch him in this state, so she tried to call out his name again, this time louder. It worked, Seth sat up, his face all sweaty.<br/>
“Kate?” He reached his hand to her face, slightly touching it as if he was trying to make sure she was real. He let his arm fall back to his side. “Why are you here?” He looked tired.<br/>
“You were having a nightmare again.” She put her hand at the crook of his neck to calm him down. He flinched at the touch.<br/>
“You shouldn’t be here.” He shook his head.<br/>
“I don’t get it.” Kate was sincerely confused.<br/>
“Don’t you have any sense of danger? A young girl shouldn’t just walk into a man’s bedroom in the middle of the night, no matter the reason.” He sounded agitated.<br/>
“What is wrong with you?” Kate looked hurt. Yesterday he asked her to stay with him until the morning and now he is saying she shouldn’t have come? Seth stood up and headed out of the room, but Kate stopped him before he could reach the door. “Hey, I’m talking to you!” She raised her voice.<br/>
“Move,” Seth growled.<br/>
“Not until you tell me what is going on with you.” She crossed her arms. Seth took two steps towards her, trying to scare her, but it didn’t work. He was now so close, he could smell her shampoo. It drove him crazy.<br/>
He unconsciously moved his lips down to her ear. “Move.” His voice cracked a bit. Kate shivered from the closeness of their bodies.<br/>
“You think I’m scared of you?” She moved her head so that she could see his face.<br/>
“I think you should.” His mouth was a straight line.<br/>
Kate gently cupped his face and looked him straight in the eyes. “You are the person I would trust my life with.” She said firmly.<br/>
“You still don’t understand, do you, princess. I’m not a prince on a white horse or some kind of virtuous hero, I’m a fucking criminal, I do messed-up things and want what I shouldn’t.” His gaze was wild. Kate’s heart started to beat faster. Something in the back of her mind warned her that she was in danger, but she refused to listen to the warnings. She stood on her tiptoes to level their heights, which brought them even closer together.<br/>
“And what is it that you want but shouldn't?” She whispered. Seth could feel her sweet breath on his lips. He gulped, his mouth suddenly dry.<br/>
Kate knew she was playing with fire, but she couldn’t help it anyway. All the fantasies she had during their time together, could they finally come true? But what if she was wrong, what if she jumped to the wrong conclusion?<br/>
“Don’t do this to me.” Seth was trying to control himself, he knew he should just go past her and walk through that door, but her gaze had him standing rooted to the spot. “Please leave... if you don’t I’m scared of what I could do to you.” He closed his eyes as he felt Kate’s hands moving away from his face.<br/>
“Good.” He thought. He heard the clack of the door closing. The sound broke his heart. “This is for the best.” He whispered before he opened his eyes again.<br/>
“I’m not going anywhere.” Kate stood there, leaning on the shut door. It took a moment for Seth to take the information in.<br/>
“Do you understand what this will mean?” He asked, his voice shaking. She smiled sheepishly and nodded. Seth stood there for another moment, staring at her. She was shifting under the intensity of his stare, nervously waiting what he was going to do.<br/>
Seth made a few quick steps towards her and pinned her to the door behind her. “You have the last chance, if you don’t go now, I will never let you leave my side again.”<br/>
Kate’s skin tingled, adrenaline rushed through her system. He was dangerous and menacing and yet she couldn’t move an inch. She was as messed up as he was. They were just right for each other. She wanted him, she wanted him to want her as well. She liked how his breathing became shaky. She put her arms around his neck, pushing herself even closer to him if that was even possible. “Promise me,” she demanded.<br/>
Seth couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to have her now, even more so that now he knew, she felt the same. He twisted one hand around her waist, while he slid the other to her hair. He kissed her hungrily, her soft lips answering to the movement of his.<br/>
Kate tightened the hug, they were so close now that she could feel how hard he was. The thought of what was coming made her shiver. She wanted him so much, she thought she would go crazy.<br/>
Seth had to stop the kiss for them to catch their breath. He wanted to ask Kate if she was really okay with this, but she kissed him before he could even open his mouth. He moved from her lips to the crook of her neck, slightly brushing it. Kate bit her lower lip. Seth smiled to himself and began to kiss her down from her jaw to the collarbone, where he sucked her fair skin in. She let out a gasp, she knew what he did and that it would leave a mark, but it turned her on even more. She wanted to be his and she wanted him to be hers.<br/>
Seth kissed her again, this time more gently. He moved his hand from her waist under her top, exploring her soft skin. When he reached her breast, she moaned into his mouth. Her knees slightly giving away.<br/>
He quickly raised her up, her legs twisted around his waist. He carried her to his bed, where he sat them down, without interrupting their kiss. He ached for her so much it hurt, but he didn’t want to force her to do anything.<br/>
Kate felt dizzy, she was sitting across Seth’s lap, only a few thin layers of clothes between them. She could feel him, he must have been at his limit for a while now. She knew he was holding back because of her, but she had no intention of stopping halfway. She ran her hands down his arms until she reached the hem of his shirt. She pulled the shirt over his head, staring at him for a moment. She stole a look or two at his muscles before, but feeling them under her hands was something else. She tracked the tattoo on his arm with her fingers, fascinated how hard his muscles were.<br/>
Seth let her map his body freely, even though it took him every drop of self-control he had left. He wanted to gobble her up, right at the spot, but he knew he couldn’t. Kate’s eyes found his again, her pupils were widened. She shifted on his lap, which caused a pleasant twitch. He couldn’t stop himself any longer and kissed her again. He raised her, only to lay her down on the bed. He was never much of a gentleman, but he wanted Kate’s first time to be pleasant, he caused her so much pain already and he did not want to add to it anymore. He was restraining as much as he could to make her feel good. He kept at a slow pace, carefully analyzing how her body reacted to anything he did, kissing her soothingly every now and then.<br/>
“You don’t have to hold back anymore,” Kate whispered to his ear, realizing how hard it must have been for him. “I want all of you.” She moaned.<br/>
Seth's vision blurred for a moment, her voice drove him crazy. He let go of the restraining and thrust harder. Kate gave out a little cry, but it was not from pain. Seth kissed her neck, her cross felt cold where it pressed against his cheek. Seth had to laugh for himself when he thought whose name will he make her scream first, his or God’s? But Kate did not notice his smile, she was out of her mind, experiencing something, she never had before. Her mind went blank from the feeling, she did not even notice Seth came right after her.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Kate!” Seth woke up screaming from his nightmare. A hand reached for his face.<br/>
“I’m here. I will never leave you again.”  A soothing whisper calmed him down. He held her close and drifted to sleep once again.</p>
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